Week 2

So yep. Today marks the near end of week 2 which makes me feel sad that my 2 years of chapters in SR is soon coming to a closure. So basically this week we had the truncated timetable which meant that we had short timetables which was a little more effective than usual but teachers were bombarding us with extra lessons which I faithfully attended all of them for the sake of my studies and I think that it’s really nice of SR teachers to actually conduct such lessons as it really a shows how much they care and I’m really appreciative of it. Needless to say, I’m really fond of SRJC and it’s here where I’ve met the nicest of people and the teachers as well. If given the chance, I really would never want to graduate and continue this 2 years of JC life forever. πŸ™†πŸ™† But I guess we all have to move on yea? If possible, I would like to be a teacher back here in SR again or do something back for the school and make them proud of me. I literally treated SRJC as my 2nd home or maybe even my first because of all the great friendships forged, be it with students or even with teachers or even with the non-teaching staff! I really want to do something to bless them especially the canteen store vendors but I unfortunately can’t find the time. πŸ˜”
Anyway, back to today (Thursday), Mr Desmond Lee complimented on my really cool tie but sort of told me off and said that in school we had to standardize all the knots of the ties. πŸ˜‚ and during assembly, Mrs Wong gave us a time out period where we simply listened to this peaceful music and with her narration to lure is into deep thoughts and I started to reflect on my journey in SR for the past 1 year plus. So have I been a nice and likable person here in SR? I think I’m pretty nice to people and I’ve got people saying that too (not trying to boast but yea) and I really appreciate those comments😊😊 I don’t usually hate on people as well. But of course, I’m not perfect as well and then the past just decided to haunt me. I honestly thought that I’ve gotten over it but I was wrong. I started to think and reflect and concluded that I’ve done my best and in this game of friendship, it takes 2 to tango. There was simply no point in me putting in all the effort when nothing is going to work out anyway. “But have you truly gotten over it?” I asked myself.

F1 Friday

And YES! This week is F1 weekend!! Haha, this annual F1 event never fails to get me excited especially with the fact that I didn’t catch it last year because I was busy studying for GP promos so yea! And I’m so happy that I managed to catch it last night at Marina Square with XinYu! 😊😊 So blessed and grateful to have a friend to accompany me to watch! Haha. Although alone or not I will still go but having a friend tagging would definitely make the atmosphere much better! Saw the cars zoomed past and heard the roaring cars (of course) was just heavenly!!! 😍😍😍 I can seriously just look at them rocket pass everyday and hear those thunderous engines coupled with the sparks off the ground 😍😍😍 It was a really great night although we went for like a mere 1 hour plus? But 😍😍😍 And that was probably the only rare time where I smiled so widely at the cars and at the sound. Haha! I’m still smiling to myself while typing this out! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ yep! Definitely the best Friday of 2014 and maybe my life (I think)! It’s been a hectic week but F1 really made me felt much more relaxed and rejuvenated! And thank you XinYu!! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ™†πŸ™† 1 think bad about SGP is that it’s always during the exam periods but I guess it’s a blessing too because it helps me to unwind! Yay for the great Friday night! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Week 1

So yea! Finally cleared the 1st week of school and I’m now 40+ more days to the big As! πŸ˜” This week was pretty bad because we got back our results which I did really terrible. Had a pathetic 18 rank points after adding PW and Chinese which was really pathetic. πŸ˜” Honestly dk how I scored so bad for physics and I really need to reflect on myself. Math was mainly due to careless mistakes which costed me 12.5 to 15 rank points which was so so costly. I really expected much more from prelim with a pass in both my Math and Physics but oh well. Chem was badly done too. I’m now awaiting to see my percentile before I start to consider whether or not to fail GP on purpose. It’s really a tough choice as it will determine whether you’re going to spend another year or not. It’s stressful.
It’s definitely much easier to fail not on purpose than to do it on purpose. But as we all know, graduating with a lousy A level certificate is definitely going to get you nowhere. I’m still putting in a lot of effort to study and hopefully the Pre-As will turn up well and me a major confidence booster for me.

Holidays!!

So I finally passed her the pencil box and a pack of chocolates to her on Tuesday (9/9) and she seemed to be happy about it which is good I guess? She sent a thank you message and I replied back and I think the conversation stopped there. Seeing her happy made me happy too and I guess it’s time that I managed to face the fact that our relationship is unable to go back to the past where we used to be much happier. Although it was a pleasant sight but I managed to feel that her level of happiness didn’t really affect me as much as before. But nevertheless, she is still a good friend to me even if she doesn’t feel the same. :)
So yep. That was the main thing that happened this week.

Moving on, I went to Bishan to study on Wed and Thurs with my classmate Kah Yi at a place which was pretty conducive! The 2 days were pretty fruitful and I really need to buck up on my studies if not I think I would likely be retaking my As in SR next year, although that isn’t a bad alternative to be honest, but I really want to clear it this year though! Yep. So 2 days of fruitful studying coupled with great fellowship with him over meals, really made me felt good! I really cherish every friendship that I’ve been blessed with. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™† That place was a really good place to study though, shall consider studying there in the near future too!

On Friday, I went to Clarke Quay’s Starbucks to study with this new friend, Xin Yu, from SR! Haha. I don’t really know how I met her but yea! It was a pretty decent day of studying although I think it could’ve been more fruitful! Did 1 full math paper and reviewed it from 1130am to like 10pm? Did 8+ hours of work in 10.5 hours? Okay okay la. Haha. After studying we went to walk around CQ, dropping by some bars and appreciated the music playing by the live bands, which were really good! Yep, so we just strolled down and tried to know each other better. 😌 Xin Yu is a really cool, nice and easily sociable person, definitely different from the SC stereotype I had in my mind, haha. Oops. After that, we headed down to Bugis for supper which happened to be prata before heading off home! And yep, that was how my 1 week holiday went. 😊😊

School :)

Relationship aside, I must say school has been a really enjoyable thing to me for the past few weeks. Although it’s a little late to say this as I would be graduating in 90 days? But I really feel much loved by my classmates these days. I mean I do feel it at times but it definitely felt better these weeks. I guess that’s a good thing? School has been fun with the class where we would now talk together more often during breaks and classes which definitely makes me feel good. :) Not to mention seeing them smile. :) Especially Cheng Mun’s when she smiled while eating chips today! πŸ˜‚ Smiles are contagious too! Coupled with the lame jokes that I tell at times and I usually end up laughing at them the hardest while they shuts stare at me on disbelief at my level of lameness/retarded-ness. πŸ˜‚ but sometimes they genuinely laugh okay! And that makes me happy too because I know that I’ve put a smile on someone’s face. I really like it. 😊😊
Anyway, it’s WeiJun’s birthday today! I’m really thankful for a great brother like him! Although out friendship is barely 6 months old but I really appreciate and cherish a great friend like him, he is really like an older brother that I definitely regard and look up to. πŸ˜„πŸ‘Š
Looking forward to tomorrow where I will finally be going to climb after weeks! πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Day 21

It’s hard. It really is. Bumped into her a few times today and idk why but I just didn’t want to make any eye contact with her. She didn’t say anything about yesterday. Did she receive it? Did someone else took it? What am I supposed to do? You call these insecurities but I call it preparing myself for the worst, no doubt I feel insecure as well. I really want to know but I just do not want to ask her.
I don’t know if the reason why I’m so unbothered that I didn’t ask her is because I lack the courage to or is it because I really do not care about it anymore. So, have I just invested almost 3 years of my life into something worthless? I had many other plans for her but I guess they can’t be fulfilled now.
Honestly, I’m still not so aware where I went wrong. I mean I admit that I was at fault too but it shouldn’t outcome to such a situation.
I need answers.